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A Personal Point of
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Published |
"America's Got Talent," the new TV contest that promises to
feature a grab bag of singers, dancers, comedians and more, has an
eclectic panel of judges to match.
Brandy Norwood ("Moesha"), David Hasselhoff ("Baywatch") and British media figure Piers Morgan will be scrutinizing aspiring stars for the NBC series set to debut next month, the network said Thursday. The program, from "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell and FremantleMedia, the company that produces FOX's hit singing contest, will be hosted by Regis Philbin. "We have three different judges from three different backgrounds. Expect the unexpected," Cowell said in a statement Thursday. He also stated, "How the semifinalists are dumped will be 'very brutal'". He didn't offer details. The variety contest begins with a two-hour episode 8pm EDT Wednesday, June 21. It will air regularly from 9-10pm Wednesdays, with a half-hour results show beginning Thursday, July 13, at 8:30pm. As with "American Idol," the judges will decide which of the acts advance to the final round while viewers ultimately decide who gets the $1 million prize. Brandy is a Grammy Award-winning singer whose TV credits include the specials "Cinderella" and "Double Platinum." Hasselhoff, who was an executive producer and star of "Baywatch," is a popular singer in Europe and has appeared on stage in New York and London musicals. He's in an upcoming Adam Sandler film, "Click." Morgan, a former editor of the London Daily Mirror, has hosted TV shows including "The Importance of Being Famous" and "The Death of Celebrity" and just started a weekly newspaper for children, "First News." |
Personal |
As noted, America's Got Talent is touted as being a variety
talent show open to all ages, featuring a widely diverse array of talent -
musicians (vocalists, instrumentalists), dancers, magicians, comedians,
jugglers, acrobats, animal acts, bizarre novelty acts, etc, possibly in
the tradition of the old Ted Mack's Original Amateur Hour, as
opposed to American Idol, which is restricted to vocalists with a
maximum age of 28.
Turns out that the new show is more reminiscent of Chuck Barris' late 1970's Gong Show in more ways than mere coincidence might suggest. But the Gong Show pales in comparison with the rankness of AGT. Some members of our instrumental trio became fascinated with the idea that making it through the initial screening process would be a snap, and exposure on national television might prove beneficial to our entertainment value. However we have previously been featured many times on E! Entertainment Channel (which has a world-wide audience), including the 51st Annual Emmy Awards Show at the Shrine Auditorium in LA, and many other broadcast venues, in addition to being frequent cruise ship entertainment. Also the trio can be seen in several scenes of the 1999 esoteric film by Paul Thomas Anderson, "Magnolia," which is being re-released and "in theaters everywhere" in January 2007. But my personal distaste for executive producer Simon Cowell and his "MO" (method of operation) prompted me to vehemently resist such a suggestion. It is evident that the primary concept of AI is self-promotion of those on the panel, with Simon the centerpiece of self adoration. I have high regard for our trio and its potential - so much so that I did not wish to put ourselves at the mercy of Cowell and his ilk in his upcoming project. I stressed that I would not spend a cent for that purpose, and would not be involved in any of the various auditions to be conducted in many cities across the country throughout the month of April, 2006. April came and went - I thought that would be the end of the topic. Then we were informed that AGT found us "on the internet," and invited us to attend the 2nd round of auditions to be held at Paramount Studios in Hollywood, even though we had optioned out on the initial set of auditions. This invitation included a pair of round-trip air tickets (from Tampa and Toronto), and hotel accommodations for six nights at the luxurious Sheraton Gateway Hotel at the Los Angeles International Airport, including all meals, etc. As one member of our trio lives in Los Angeles, there was no need for travel or hotel accommodations for the third person. We decided to go for it, against my better judgment. |
Events |
The new project, America's Got Talent, from the same
self-centered Simon (though he is now behind the scenes as executive
producer) hit the market on June 21 with a 2-hour opening show on
NBC and is hosted by Regis Philbin. However, Regis is merely a
figure-head, with no input affecting the outcome, on any level, ala Ryan
Seacrest on American Idol.
Be assured this program, by design, makes a mockery of the talent that is being showcased. REF: Simon Cowell interview with Bill O'Reilly on FOX's "The O'Reilly Factor." Bill accused Simon of making "gazillions" from the show and its premise, to which Simon responded he would be happy with "millions". See Cowell AGT, proclaimed as being open to all types of talent, with no
age limitations, turns out to once again feature and accept primarily
vocalists, though not specified in its program description. As contestants, each person is required to read and fill in the official Talent Information Sheet (6 pages) as well as the official Participant Background Questionnaire Form (19 pages), and return them to the production office. The second form asks more questions than are required for a maximum security position in Washington, DC, I suspect. Once that hurdle is cleared, a letter is issued stating "Congratulations! You've made it onto the second round of America's Got Talent!", and "You will be here for the rest of the week to go through our second round of auditions and our first taped show." Struck me as being a bit phony, as we were not required to attend the initial auditions! |
Details |
On Monday afternoon, May 15, 2006, we were met on our arrival at the
airport by one of the reps from the show, who then took us to our hotel,
and told us to enjoy our evening. We were given hotel meal tickets for
that evening, and also for the following day. We were told to meet our
reps in the hotel lobby at 8:30am the following morning, fully dressed in
our show costumes. So on Tuesday morning, all contestants for the day were
taken via several shuttle buses to Stage 10 of the Paramount Studios in
Hollywood.
While various acts were taken to Stage 16 (where the show was to be taped) for sound checks, stage preparations, etc, throughout the day, the balance of the acts waited in the holding room of Stage 10. There was plenty of food, snacks, soft drinks, juices, bottled water, etc, available all day for those waiting to be called. This was a time to get acquainted with other performers, and watch them in mini-rehearsals as the hours passed. When our trio was finally called for sound check and stage setup, we were fitted with wireless systems attached to our personal microphones and were satisfied with the sound which was EQ'd according to our request. At the end of the day, all the acts were returned to the hotel, and were told we would have the next two days free to do as we pleased. Then on Friday morning, we were to gather in the hotel lobby once again, to meet the shuttle, fully dressed and ready for taping. So on Friday morning, soon after arrival at Stage 10, the entire group of contestants was led to Stage 16 to begin taping of the show. A large theater setting, the audience consisted of many people from the surrounding area of Los Angeles, who had obtained tickets for the event - normal practice in the studios. Also included were contestant family members and friends who had made prior arrangements, and of course all the contestants. A full audience to be sure. The contestants were instructed to always sit in the same seats, with our same show costumes for all subsequent shows, as the show would be taped in segments, but would need to always look the same for continuity. At this time, the judges were introduced, and took their respective seats on the panel. Next Regis Philbin was introduced. We were advised that Regis would be there for only the Friday events, so all segments featuring him were taped out of context, to be edited at a later time. Taping would continue on Saturday without him, for the final day. Soon the show started, and we quickly witnessed the fallibility of the concept. Of the three judges, one was too young (27) to have a proper insight of the overall idea, and thus a narrow notion of entertainment; the second was passably capable; and the third, the most vocal but least able to grasp the meaning of his presence. His background in the newspaper business ("28-year-old wonder" editor of the News of the World, and editor of The Daily Mirror, both well-known gossip tabloids of London, and from both of which he had been fired for publishing contemptible and repugnant stories and photos beyond the norm for such tabloids - see "References") speaks nothing of his expertise in judging entertainment talent. His only qualification might be that he is a friend of fellow "Brit" Cowell. In fact, Cowell and Morgan are a pair to be avoided like "the plague" that they are. I will address primarily our personal experience with these three misfits, but be aware that ours was not the only casualty of the day. There were many great acts who failed to catch the attention of the judges, while there were some without talent worthy of such a show, who were granted permission to return at a future date for the next round of auditions. As one of the many commercials leading to the premier of the show states, "But first... they must face the 'triple cross' audition!" How apt! Later in the day, our trio was finally selected to appear on stage. We were once again given our wireless mic setups, and assured they were properly EQ'd as directed 3 days earlier. To our horror, without being permitted a sound check immediately prior to playing, the mic inputs had not been reset to the original settings by the sound engineers as promised, which meant it was impossible to produce our preferred sound (proper tone, reverb, volume, etc). Our leader introduced our group, we were acknowledged by the judges and our huge audience, and we were prepared to play our pre-selected composition. However! Before we played our first note, and before our incompetent jurist, Piers Morgan, heard a single sound, he struck his gong button proving beyond question that he is incapable of being fair, uninterested, and obviously against performers other than vocalists. We didn't get 20 seconds into our 1 minute, 40 seconds test piece, before Brandy Norwood, and finally David Hasselhoff, also "gonged" us out of the competition, with the huge red X's on both the judges' panel and high on the stage over our heads, as indication of their votes. As is customary, and according to direction, we bowed to our audience, who were responding with thunderous applause and screaming approval, stepped forward toward the judges' panel, and listened to their critique. Piers began by stating emphatically, "harmonicas are boring, and all sound the same" (further proof of his tin ear malady), to which David responded, "I have worked with the Harmonicats" with no further comment, positive or negative. Brandy tended to support Piers, according to plan. The finality is that we were told we would not be returning for the next round. All this to a standing ovation of the entire audience, followed by their "booing" of the judges. All to no avail, of course, as the judges have final say throughout this phase, until the show actually airs when the TV viewers make the call, and judge the various acts. By prior agreement, we as a trio had determined that in the event of possible failure, we would not argue our case before the "jury", but rather thank them politely, and make our exit. And that was our finale. I cannot deny that the thought of the million dollar prize for the winner was inviting, but in retrospect I am very pleased that the studio chose to not use our losing clip for their promotion of upcoming shows. This practice has become the mainstay of their advertising in a sorry attempt to attract more viewers for future competitions, to the degradation and humiliation of their guests. To have any of our prospective venues or booking agencies see us in such a downgrading situation would be unbearable, if not disastrous. Seeing ourselves sitting in the audience countless times throughout the shows, as well as the endless string of blurbs, is reminder enough. We are very thankful we have a reputation with our agents and venues around the world who know us, and respect us, for what we are. There were a number of Las Vegas acts on the schedule, including an excellent balloon artiste who doubles as a comedian, vocalist and pianist, among other talents. He was immediately "gonged" off the competition without being permitted to perform his allotted time, belittled for his balloon work before he got into his act. Other full-time Las Vegas acts were similarly snubbed. A very fine juggler with whom we have previously worked on cruise ships also failed in his attempt to impress the judges, but did argue his case, and after a number of minutes was able to convince them to change their minds. He was thusly invited to return for the next round of auditions. Brandy openly admitted that she felt pressured by her fellow jurors, and followed their lead, though it was obvious she didn't really agree with them. In her words, broadcast as part of the program: "I didn't want to buzz you - I felt peer pressure from these two guys." As acts were introduced and started their presentation, she could often be seen looking to Piers to read his reaction, rather than responding to her own impression. Another fine act that was not given their proper due was one that has been performing over 25 years in more than 45 countries. Professionally trained in China, they were the "First Class Acrobats" in China (the highest title for acrobats). They were the Gold Medal winner of International Acrobatic Competition in Monte Carlo, and also have been voted the "Best Specialty Act" in Las Vegas. Currently, they are performing 12 shows a week in one of the biggest production shows in Las Vegas. When they were given their spot on stage at AGT, they were quickly "gonged" to their complete surprise, which was visible on their faces, and belittled by Piers, who again exhibited his moronic ignorance. We could take comfort in the fact that many acts in the competition who were actually very good to excellent, were treated as inhumanely as we. Piers "Moron" Morgan, in his arrogant asininity, asked the point of the animal trainer who was exhibiting her African Grey. He identified it simply as a "self-taught parrot, which is what parrots do" in his ignorance, and questioned why she was there, stating it was the "parrot" who had the talent, and not she. She stated her background, and history as an animal trainer, and told him simply that she had been requested to be there. A group of highly-skilled basketball acrobats who used mini-trampolines in their act, were told by Piers that if they practiced a little more, they might be able to join the Globetrotters, to which they responded that three of the group members have already played and beaten the Globetrotters! Piers, in his usual arrogant ignorance, was unimpressed, of course. A "sawyer" began to play his musical saw (a common instrumentalist among variety acts), which can be beautiful when played properly, but before he played more than a few notes, he was quickly "gonged" by the young, uninitiated and ignorant Brandy. In her lame attempt to be comedic, she screwed up her face, and asked, "What was that?" This of course betrayed her "intelligence" - if she had given him a chance, she might have been better educated into "what it was." Another act was prematurely gonged by Piers before it got started, and he reluctantly admitted that he hadn't given the performer a chance. He then rescinded the big red "X", after cajoling from Brandy and David. A male stipper was quickly gonged by Piers, while both Brandy and David objected to his quick response. The male "expert", in his guise of being moralistic, reminded all that this "is a family show." However, when a female stipper was midway through her act, Brandy exhibited a very disgusted facial expression, gonged her, and asked her to put her clothes back on. The two male chauvinists totally enjoyed the show. Quoting Piers: "You are without any doubt the most talented woman I've seen in this competition so far." (Piers seems to have changed his moral standards when the female stripper took the stage! "Surprise, Surprise!", quoting Gomer Pyle.) Both voted her to return to the next level. A young fellow sat on a chair with his legs up and behind his head, pretzel fashion, playing guitar and singing "Bend Me, Shape Me", and Brandy didn't have a clue as to what it was about! Her ignorance was hilarious. But neither did Piers nor David get it. As the day progressed, it quickly became obvious that primarily the vocalists - bad or good - were given preference over all other contestants. A "trash band", using their own equipment at maximum volume, shrieked a "song" in which the only understandable words were: "You Suck". In their post-interview, they were told they could return in the next level if they promised to use a song with "different" or "better" words! And so it went. Regis was friendly and kind, and reached out to shake hands on his many trips up the aisle for camera cues. He genuinely had fun with many of the contestants to their delight throughout the day. But he was long-gone before we had the opportunity to take our turn on stage. His introduction of our trio, which had been taped hours earlier will undoubtedly not be seen of course. This production is obviously big-budget, and I am certain Regis will be "adequately" compensated for his participation. At the end of the evening, as we were making our way toward the shuttle to return to the hotel, I was approached by Simon, who offered a "friendly" handshake while "apologizing" for our demise, as if he had nothing to do with it. (Note: throughout the day, during breaks in the taping, Simon repeatedly approached the judges' panel in what appeared to be coaching advice, etc.) Our trio agreed that we would not return for the Saturday activities - which would be only to fill seats in the theater - as we felt we had fulfilled our obligation on previous days. We met with our reps, and were told that it would be acceptable: that we were welcome to do as we pleased, and were given "meal tickets" for 3 meals a day, as usual, for Saturday and Sunday, plus breakfast tickets for Monday. We also discussed at length the topic of the show, and our disappointment in the lack of knowledge of the jury. They were of course in total agreement, and sympathetic. No worry about staying over Saturday and Sunday nights at the hotel, as that was part of the package. Monday morning we headed for the airport, and flights home. |
Synopsis |
My two comrades now agree with my initial assessment of the situation,
and to what might be expected as an outcome. Neither are, nor have been,
followers of the American Idol show, though I have watched it a few
times with the increased exposure of Taylor Hicks, vocalist who also plays
blues harmonica very well. (He was not however permitted to play his
harmonica during the actual competition, as it was strictly a vocal
showcase.) They now understand my distaste for Simon Legree Cowell, and
they also have no respect for Piers Morgan. Both Brandy Norwood and David
Hasselhoff are to be shamed for letting Piers commandeer the show. They
are mere figureheads, with very little input. Piers' opinions and
judgments, for the most part, went unchallenged.
Another point of unfairness and discrimination toward both the acts on stage and the others on the jury panel is the fact that frequently the jurists are permitted to also hit the "gong" buttons manned by the other two, giving them no choice in the matter. Is this an approved function of the judges? Turns out it is. It's all a big game for the panel and their executive producer, to the detriment of the contestants. How unfortunate that it is accepted by the unknowing public as a fair and equal competition. Overall it can be fairly stated that the premise of the show is for the panelists to have fun at the expense of the talent showcased, without the true intent of finding great and deserving talent as the number one purpose. However, if some great talent is discovered by chance, which can be further used for the folly of the three jurists and their executive producer in succeeding shows, they have achieved their personal and selfish goal. In summation, the point of the showcase is to give the three jurists a soapbox for self-exposure rather than to present the talent that is selected, in a fair competition. In varying degrees they are unable to give the contestant the chance to prove themselves, but rather quickly get rid of them and move on. On rare occasions they will allow the acts a second chance, and are forced to change their votes. |
Afterthought |
Simon Legree Cowell was forced to eat crow, much to my delight,
following the victorious Taylor Hicks' big finish on the final American
Idol show on May 24, 2006. Taylor barely survived his first audition,
and Simon had forecast early in the series that he didn't stand a chance!
Observation: Thinking I was being original in using the reference to "Legree" in connection with Simon Cowell, I decided to do a Google search for anything similar. Not surprisingly, there are pages on pages of listings showing the same reference in dozens of websites! No, I'm not original, but it is interesting to note that so many are in complete agreement! |
Press |
The Tampa Tribune - June 2, 2006 "America's Got Talent: Simon Cowell and NBC have created what appears to be a new version of 'The Gong Show,' and the title should be 'America Thinks It's Got Talent.' Regis Philbin is host. Judges are Brandy, David Hasselhoff and Piers Morgan." The Tampa Tribune - June 22, 2006 |
Preshow |
NBC eXtra - June 13, 2006 Quoting Regis Philbin: "Hasselhoff is afraid of jugglers." |
This |
CNN News - Anderson Cooper 360 - June 30, 2006 David Hasselhof severed a tendon in his right arm while shaving! Just wondering - what was he shaving? LONDON, England (AP) -- "Former 'Baywatch' star David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in an accident in a London gym bathroom, his spokeswoman said Friday." |
More |
PARADE Sunday July 2, 2006
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More |
PARADE Sunday August 17, 2008
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References |
Wikipedia BBC News - The Daily Mirror - May 14, 2004 Guardian Unlimited - November 4, 2005 Guardian Unlimited - December 15, 2005 |